If anyone ever tells you that your eyelashes are weak, stay calm, all is solved now. You buy Estee Lauder’s “Lash Primer Plus.” Why the Plus? Because, you fool, it’s beyond a primer. It’s a primer plus. And it strenghthens your lashes.

A mascara and the primer were in a box: “A Gift for you–Votre Prime.” Now we’re getting it, aren’t we? It is you, you in your prime.

I don’t know about you, but if anyone ever said to me that I was in my prime, I’d smile and preen. Then later I’d think: isn’t it all downhill after my prime?

Also in the box is a blue bottle with eyewash. OK. Not eyewash, “Gentle Eye Makeup Remover,” or “Demaquillant pour les yeux.”  Doesn’t that sound better” “hey guys, gotta go use my “demaquillant pour les yeux.”

The world of Estee is a grand one. But I’m going to present most of this to my daughter. My face is weary of carrying the burden of being numero uno. It’s her turn.