My Underwear…

is giving me advice. I always read instruction manuals, including ones that come on my underwear. Of course, I forget everything I’ve read but that’s all right. Even if I save the manual, I forget where I put it.
But this was a tag on my support bra. (You can say “bra” on the internet. Right?) I bought it yesterday and today carefully cut off the tags. Don’t you hate those nasty little plastic thingies that fall onto the rug and then you walk on them and they hurt like hell.
One tag was folded in half. Inside it said: “Suggested Sports: walking, Pilates, yoga.” This is the first time I’ve had a piece of underwear make a personal recommendation to me. What’s next? Underpant/s that whisper, Faster, Walk Faster? Or maybe a tee-shirt that declares Put on your Sun Block? Or a bra that says “Don’t wear this garment when it’s thundering.”
Besides, are walking or Pilates or yoga considered sports? Don’t sports require other people, teammates and such? And some serious action?
And the sports recommended by my bra came from a bra labeled “Medium,” medium referring to the level of difficulty of the sport. If Pilates is of medium level of difficulty, what is a low level of difficulties?
Do I have to go back and look?

My Underpant

I have a favorite pair of underpants. I bought them last year at the Bali/Hanes store at Tanger Outlet on the highway to Sanibel here in Florida. I bought only one pair because that’s all they had of my usual underwear: briefs, I guess they are called. Nice and roomy, particularly if they fit. At size 7, they’re spacious . Comfy.

During this past year, I’d search for them in every load of clothes I washed. Should I put them on top of my neatly folded pile of underpants? Or should I just put them anywhere in the pile? It was promised delight for the very next day vs. coming across them unexpectedly. Hard decision.

I usually smiled when I pulled them out and discovered I had the one, the special underpant/s. Why the plural? It dates back to when the pant legs were separate from the rest of the garment, about 500 years ago. I think.

Silly. I’ll call them, call it, underpant. I have a favorite underpant. There.