Now, what was I thinking?

I was thinking of SoHo Crime, a division of Soho Press of NYC, and an enticing bit of a mystery by Van de Wettering. Wettering writes detective stories set in Amsterdam. You know where that is, don’t you?

Anyway, I had a great idea, an amusing idea that I wanted to write a blog on. Now all is silent in my skull. I only recall that I wanted, I want to get everything ready here in the cottage before my total hip replacement on Tuesday. What are those things?

I have a walker in the trunk of my car. Steve will get it out when he comes on Monday. I have my loose clothes to wear after I wake up Tuesday afternoon in the hospital. They’ll want me to walk a bit. Probably more than once. (Just thinking: I’ll miss breakfast and maybe lunch on Tuesday. May be I’ll lose a pound. Is that frivolous thinking?) (Nah.)

I don’t need to get all my laundry done. The washer is a good height for me to load and unload it. No bending. I don’t need to clean my house as I have a cleaner once a week. But yes to dusting. All the surfaces of my house are dirty. Oh, my. And I still haven’t gotten a feather duster Walmart sells that someone recommended. Walmart–I don’t like shopping there, too many items, too many departments. But I do shop there. It’s so close.

But what needs to be done now…?

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I thought…

I’d like to write an amusing blog about my gimpy left leg. Surely there was some way it could be used for humor.

…………I’m still thinking and lots of time has passed. Nothing funny yet. But maybe there is some humor in the amount of energy that is expended in preparing us all for surgery.

Yesterday I joined a large group of people at Windham Hospital. For one hour and fifteen minutes we were told what to expect when we had our hips or knees replaced. I received a great deal of helpful advice but no laughs.  I almost laughed once, but the laugh died somewhere in my chest.

If I thought about the things we have to do or be done to us before our operations, I might find it funny. We have doctor’s visits: one with a physical, blood tests, CAT scans, EKG’s, consultations with anesthesiologists and visits to physical therapists.  Are you laughing yet? I guess not. Besides, I have four new exercises to do every day from the physical therapist. Not amusing at all.

I myself am fussing about my sneakers. After the operation, and for six weeks afterwards I can’t bend over and tie my sneakers. What’ll I do? I can’t pull on my socks, either. I need to get a picker-upper, a metal arm with two parts at the end that act as fingers and pick things up, like a sock, and any other light thing. But how do I put the sock on?

How do I keep myself from bending beyond a 95 degree angle? Pain, I suppose. Pain would do the job.

And how do we handle pain? With narcotics and non-narcotics. Tylenol apparently is great with joint pain. I’ll let you know about that. I do know that narcotics are great for pain.

I do hope I don’t forget and reach over and pick up something on the floor. Wow! that would hurt.

Wish me luck.